The Trump-Paltrow Syndrome
Donald Trump has been rich since infancy, famous since his early thirties, and powerful — first in business and then in politics — for decades. These advantages have worked for him. But they’ve also weakened him and may destroy him.
I have some inside knowledge of a Trumpian life: I grew up in Beverly Hills. My dad didn’t earn one percent of the money that Trump’s father did — far from it! — but I knew kids whose parents did have heavy money.
As a fairly young man, Trump was not only rich but had also achieved fame. Gwyneth Paltrow (who also grew up prosperous) has had something to say about that condition.
“Fame is such a weird and distorting thing,” she told James Andrew Miller and Tom Shales for Live From New York: The Complete, Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live.“I’ve thought a lot about it, and my theory is that you kind of stop growing at the age you are when you become famous. Because what happens is, people start removing all your obstacles, and if you have no obstacles you don’t know who you are. You don’t have real perspective on the problems that face you in life, how to surmount them, and what kind of character you have.”
Paltrow’s right. Whether you have fame — or wealth, power, or other advantages — people without those advantages will try to do favors for you. They may not like you, but a lot of them will try to please you, because you have what they want or what they fear.
If fame and unearned wealth constantly provide what you want without your working for it, you’re a prime candidate for the imposter syndrome: “I’ve got so much stuff, and I’m in this great position, but I didn’t earn any of it. I don’t deserve it. And if people find out that I don’t deserve it, they’ll turn on me. They’ll hate me. My life could fall apart.”
Such a person could cover this terror with bluster and bravado: “If I act like I’m the greatest and like anyone against me is just jealous or lying or crooked — like they’re the undeserving ones, not me — then I’ll be safe.”
Wealth and fame don’t have to cripple a person’s psyche. A rich, famous person can put them aside and triumph over obstacles by using nothing but her own brains and sweat. Triumphing that way builds confidence and erases the imposter syndrome.
But from all appearances, Trump has never had to build up those mental muscles. No wonder he goes on Twitter tantrums when people displease him. As Paltrow might put it, he stopped growing at a very young age. He may never have learned grown-up ways to handle problems and pain.
Trump would probably deny all of the above. He doesn’t seem introspective enough to explore the subterranean terrors that might be spinning his turbines. Nor does he seem likely to consider that he may have built up his aggressive outward behavior to protect him from his own feelings.
But I think he’s a swirling whirlpool of insecurity and immaturity.
